Having a random hookup so left but love u
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize