You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
