And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
