I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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