Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
