I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She needs sedatives and a leash
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
