So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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