OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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