just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize