Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
