no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
