His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
