so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
