So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
