are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i barfeds in our rink
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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