thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
