Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
