ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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