you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
