She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
