It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
