At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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