He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
