im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
no more duck duck goose at the bar
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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