I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
