Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
