Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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