Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
