oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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