You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
