How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
