Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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