thus making me awesome and them whores
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize