Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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