If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
