i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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