forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
