i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Randomize
