Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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