hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize