Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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