Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
