went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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