dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
