I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just pee around me
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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