I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
