using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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