Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
