I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Someone shit on the floor
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
