i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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