i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
