Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Congratulations! We have a period
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